Sexting: 12 Rules for Dirty Text Messages

Part two of a two part series by Anthony Wayne exploring the art of “sexting”–the sending of sexually explicit text messages, instant messages, or emails to a member of the opposite sex in an attempt to increase sexual tension.

Recently, a married friend of mine attended a popular trade show.  He met an older, also married, woman there who was without her husband and they were clearly attracted to each other.  The friend sent her a photo by email and one thing led to another.  Soon they were involved in a series of dirty text messages, emails, and phone calls that would make the editors of Penthouse blush.

Sending dirty text messages, or sexting, is growing among teens and adults.  It just seems so…innocent.

That was until she told him he’d be in a nearby town and should meet her at a hotel.  That’s when he realized it had gone too far and he ended it before causing potential irreparable harm to both of their marriages.

My friend shared these text messages and emails with me and I must say, both of them were quite good at sexting.  In reading the sexting messages, I could see how sexting was such an attraction to two married people involved in rather traditional lifestyles with comfortable homes, kids, and a couple of dogs.

1. Messages were short and direct.  No messing about here.  Get right to the point.  Send the kind of messages that you like to yell out during vacation sex after you’ve drank a couple bottles of wine.
2. Given the short length of the messages, sexting acronyms can really help out.  Your sexting partner will have fun figuring them out.  “TAY” is a popular one to write even if you don’t mean it.
3. The messages are witty and creative.  When you are writing less than 160 characters on a text message screen, you don’t have much room for wordiness and that actually added to the creativity.  When sexting, you need to take advantage of all the characters you can.
4. You can be bolder in a written message.  Many people can’t say these bad words, but writing them is a totally different story.  And, it seems much less offensive.
5. It’s low risk.  Since the written message doesn’t have any verbal inflection, if the sexting partner is offended, you can always say you were “JK” (just kidding).
6. There’s no problem with shyness in the written word.  You’d never think the PTA president and church usher could say those kinds of things, would you?
7. It’s a no committal way to say that you like somebody.  If the sexting partner doesn’t return the banter, so what?  Nothing lost, nothing gained.
8. Rapid fire emails and text messages can really heat up the sexual tension, but be prepared to be disappointed when your sexting partner needs to go to a meeting or take the kid to basketball practice.
9. Give it a break sometimes.  If you are getting hot emails and text messages all day, it ceases to be hot.  It just seems desperate.
10. Don’t get drunk and start sexting.  It can be a real turnoff if you use the “L” word.  Your sexting partner doesn’t really love you; at most, she’s just looking for a booty call in a small city hotel.
11. Double check whom you’re sending the dirty text message or email to.  You don’t want Mom to get the message intended for the girl you met at the hotel bar in Vegas.
12. Remember, you are playing with fire here. If you are in a committed relationship, be very careful.  You can really ruin a good thing for nothing more than a sexting fantasy.

When you do finally meet your sexting partner (and you probably will given the sexual tension built up), you are going to have a lot to live up to.  Better keep up the carnal conversation or your partner will be disappointed.  This isn’t about hugging and kissing.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 12th, 2009 at 10:25 pm and is filed under Text Messaging, sexting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.